Lessons, musings and advice from the author of ‘The Life I Won’
I talk about fear a lot and that is because it shows up a lot. In fact, I think that fear is one of the biggest problems in our society today. We are fearful of so many things and holding ourselves back from the greatness and abundance within us.
Once upon a time, when we were cavewomen, fear served us to keep us alive. If we popped our head outside the cave and sensed a sabre tooth tiger prowling, then fear kept us from being eaten. Nowadays that same fear shows up in so many ways, we have the same reaction, but the danger level is considerably less. We have become fearful of change, of stepping outside of what makes us feel safe. Therefore, we are not all living the lives we were born to live. Free from worries and anxiety and filled with abundance. When I say abundance, I don’t just mean just money, I mean love, health, self-expression, all the human desires which create joy and gratitude.
The need to be ‘seen’ as wealthy, beautiful, perfect has created differences, inequalities, and comparison at a level our society has accepted as the norm. The more visible the differences the more we desire the good stuff. Do you think that the fear felt by mothers in the most poverty-stricken countries for the life of their children is comparable with the fear of little Johnny being bullied for not having designer gear like the other kids? I am not inciting an argument here, but I do think we worry too much about what people think and not enough about each other and that this has created a void in our true understanding about humanity.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not minimising the fear you feel right now about where you are in the world, in fact that is why I do the job I do. I truly believe that helping women to overcome fear and step into their power will help to heal the world. Teaching others to own their differences, step past their fears and build a business that can support their joy and independence allows them to make a difference. You need money to make a bigger impact on the world so let’s help women create more of it, that is my motto.
The first step is to help you to see just how amazing you are and stop worrying about things.
I recently ran my first 5-Day Challenge as a business model. It was a huge task to build it, it took time and money, but it worked in so many ways and highlighted the reason that I needed to keep going and help others to do the same.
One of the ladies in my challenge made this comment ‘my work is invisible, like me’. This is the reason I help creative women. This lady’s work is worthy of being seen but she is debilitated by fear, no faith in herself and struggles to break the cycle. Other ladies commented about muddling through with no real plan and worried that they won’t be able to cope if they get busier. This is rooted in fear. Then there was the lady who just wanted to paint and do nothing else, staying safe in her comfortable place, because guess who waits outside of that place? FEAR!
There is nothing wrong in feeling fear, it is an emotion like any other, and you don’t need to feel inadequate for feeling fearful or for not ‘feeling the fear and doing it anyway’ like others.
We are different, unique.
We all have our own back story and experiences in life. It is OK to be exactly where you are and feel exactly how you feel right now. However, I know that you want to change and find the strength within to do the things in life you know you are capable of. So here are some tips to help you think about where you are and where you want to be. This is not a list, lecture or must do challenge, just a few things I do when fear shows up for me (and it does).
Money is not everyone’s first step to joy and happiness, yes, it is important, but it is not everyone’s driving force. How will you measure success in your business?
Even if money is not your number one driver, knowing what you want to achieve from your business is vital. How much do you want to make per month/year? What is your 5-year goal? If you meander through your business life without a goal, you will stay exactly where you are, and feel fearful.
Knowing your ideal customer and getting into their head and out of yours is the very basic start point for EVERY business. It is your job to know this so that you can help to move them from how they feel right now to how they want to feel.
This takes time, effort, and research, but the more intimate you are with your business model and how you get your product or service into the hands of the perfect customer the more confident you will feel, and the less fear will show up.
So many entrepreneurs either don’t do this at all for fear of failure or buy every course on the market thinking they will solve their problems without really understanding their own skill gaps. Both cause fear to show up! The first one keeps you small, the second costs unnecessary money and leaves you bitter and frustrated because you are not seeing ROI. Do your research, find the right people to help you and invest wisely. When you learn what you really need, your confidence soars and you start to see fear slip away.
There are a million other examples, lessons, pieces of advice I could give you here, but that would take you into overwhelm and that is not what I want. I just want you to look at where you are right now and move forward from there. It is OK to be where you are, to feel how you do and to be afraid, it just does not serve you to stay there. For you to get the best out of this life you have been gifted, you must learn how to see fear as an emotion that you understand and have control over rather than something that stops you following your dreams.
Think bigger, feel better and live life to the full. Be fearless.